a secret kept too long

I’m sure everyone have their own secret. A secret that we are so afraid to tell, that somehow, we have managed to live with it like there’s no such secret. Everyday, we lived our lives completely unaware that the secret we kept inside doesn't show the slightest hint of revealing itself. In short, IT has consumed us.

Life would definitely be nice if there weren’t any secrets. There’s no need to worry about anyone finding out anything about you that you don’t want the world to know. These are however, impossible to achieve. The reason is simple. People Judge!

 

Say, what do you worry most when you’re trying to tell someone something?

“what they might think?” would be the first question you’d ask yourself.

Then, you will start going “What if…”,

Lastly, you’d ask yourself, “So, Should I tell or not?'”

Then it’s all back to the beginning.

Isn’t that what we all go through? I know I do. All the time!

 

But lately, things changed (maybe it’s just me). I’ve actually started asking myself

“how long do I intend to keep this secret?”

“is it possible?”

“how long more can I do this?”

 

I just wanted to live a life that I enjoy, one that I like, and the one that I don’t have to hide. But apparently, the judges don’t like it.

 

So, to continue to act I shall, as the stage is set up, and the lights are shining. Attentions are on me and there’s nowhere to hide. Because I’ve been an actor, and shall be the best I can be.

Rants

Well, everyone told me a month ago that they started feeling that I’m under alot of stress staying at where I am now and I declined that statement, until today.

I’m not stressed of what I cannot do, but rather stressed because of expectations, from myself, and especially from others.

I’m not sure of it, but I think I’m really a blur case sometimes, I take some time to process what people have to tell me sometimes and due to that, I’ll usually end up screwing myself. Bad, I know.

Things are worse when you have to march all the way to a person’s place to restart her computer for her because she doesn’t know how to do it. I mean, common! how can a person not know how to restart a computer when you are using your computer everyday to do your work?! Seriously?!

Another issue would be the lights. Don’t even get me started on that one. isn’t it a natural reflex to turn it of when you’re not gonna use it?! I did! and I’m also the one who got blamed when I did switch it off and when YOU switch it on again and leave without switching it off! (confusing I know, pls ignore)

Suddenly I feel like I have to look after so many things, be it work or non-work related. what can I say? everyone have their own asses (that includes me). I just want a care-free life, and yes, I think that’s one of my many asses. which is why sometimes I act blur even when I’m not.

Pardon me, but it’s just not a good Sunday for me. Didn’t manage to get my usual R&R, and instead I got a HBP. I’m really looking forward to my holiday week and hopefully get to have some fun and time along to think and relax without the burden and any unpleasant thoughts in my head.

I really really really miss my Uni days. The days when I can really live!

The Self-Invited

It has definitely been a while since Sieng left for her home town and we’ve lost touch for a lil bit. Little did we know, she has gracefully invited herself to the Peninsular to a short visit and well, she definitely managed to surprise me! =D

the Karaoke session at Sunway Pyamid after "”yuen” steamboat was hell of a blast and most of us Lost our voices for a day or two since we Sang until about 3am before we decided to part.

Friday and Saturday was definitely an eventful one since the parents came all the way from Melaka (Yes, Again) for another party!~ =D Yes, it’s very fun when you have a Family who appreciates gatherings! =)

Let’s how I won’t doze off at work tmr… =)

Another good news for me today~ The house’s internet is finally Back! Up and Running!~ *loveX10*

being alone

Being alone. Yup, I have been… it has been a week now, and it has definitely given me alot of time to think. And as crazy it may sound, I’m actually starting to enjoy my alone time… weird I know, bur there’s just too many things to think of.

I think I’m going crazy….

What Comes Next

We always look forward to what we are doing.

But we not know what comes next?

I don't.

The constantly changing mind.

Remember that I said I planned to get an iPhone4??? Yea, guess what. I'm currently looking at HTC (androids). Hmm... or should I wait for Windows Phone 7??? GeezZz... I'm totally spoil with options... or options spoil me???

Anywayz, I'll be off to Penang for a weekend retreat with the guys of TE4!~ WOOTS! It's been a while since I've last been to Penang~

I Seriously need a smart phone which can tether... I can't survive without internet doz...

Till then!~ =)

the missing slumber

Excitement fills the air 2 days before my aunt from Perth arrives to this overly humid country as we prepare the house to welcome our guest from down south. Party was being held to welcome the family at the same time bidding farewell for a god sister of mine.

The late night sleeps and the constant outings have drained all the energy left in me which is partly why most people sees me dozing off on the couch during the party. At the end of the day, I still think it's a great get together because it has been a while since we've last had a get together.

The plan on getting an iPhone4 continues as I'm saving up for the marvelous gadget (anytime soon now). I must admit, I'm rather exited to get the new device, fully funded by your's truly and having to pay my own bills. Now, don't say I have no commitment. I have to pay for insurance and my study loan still. Which is why I don't see myself investing on a property anytime soon.

Work's going quite well if you'd ask me. The boss acknowledge my productivity and says that it will be a waste if he just want me to do reports for the company. Hence, he'll be taking me out to meet clients for presentation and some other stuffs to further expose me to what the company is doing. =) *Glad*

Anyways, I really need to catch up on my sleep because I'm starting to have headache! It might be due to either the lack of sleep or me facing the computer for very long. =(

That's all the updates I've got and yes, I'm planning to go to Penang with the gang on the 8th!~ =D *can't wait*

A WEEKEND RETREAT!

The Dream

Not really feeling now, hence the 1.30am wake. Partly by my unwell tummy, also by a dream that waken me.

I don’t know what have I taken in that caused my tummy to bloat at an uncomfortable level and I can’t seem to find the medication to counter it. *I knew I had it somewhere* the felling of air flowing inside the tummy is definitely making me sick. (Damn I shouldn’t have taken wine on the flight). Guess all I can do is to go get some in the morning when the shop is opened. =(

Now, to the dream. It was I very happy dream I’d say. Very happy to the extent that I’d wished it was real. 2 friends bought me presents (I don’t know why or for what) which I’m really happy to receive (but made me feel so bad coz I didn’t have any for them from Manila).

Then I was suddenly somewhere else, and a very good old friend came up to me with a bottle of vodka in his hand, telling me that he’ll be going off to Indonesia (seriously, of all places why Indonesia?) and that we had to stay in touch. This is when everything starts to get emotional for me as he passed me a bottle of Absolute Vodka to me, teaching me to mix it with something and something with ratio and ask me to try drinking it and see if it’s ok. (I can swear to you, that it is SO him!). It is as if nothing happened between us or was it what I hoped for?

I woke up in tears (not because of my tummy) half hoping it’s true. But I guessed we can’t change what ahs happened ehh?

alas! it’s almost 2 now, I need to re-charge for work tomorrow. Let’s my tummy don’t give much trouble. =)

人心难测

你觉得吗？

Graduation

Yes, I’ve finally graduated after a long wait. The ceremony was held at Wisma MCA on the 21st of August and my family was here for the auspicious occasion. I’m glad, glad indeed. =)

Things has been changing after I step out into the real world, having to face all kinds of challenges. It’s really nice to be able to meet up with friends whom I’ve missed so much since we’ve felt school to pursue our dreams. It’s good to know that everyone is doing fine and happy living their life. I’m really glad that I’ve met this group of friends who has given me so much in terms of friendship, never in these 4 years have I felt alone. Never in these 4 years have I been afraid of loneliness. I am proud to say that I’ve made real friends who befriend me for who I am. They all graduated with a first class honours in the friendship course.

I’m happy, because I don’t have a reason to feel sad. I’m happy because I’ve got such great friends. I’m happy because I can hear people cheering for me while I walk towards my scroll. Most importantly, I’m happy because I’ve gone through a unique journey that not everyone can experience in their life.

I opened up the “book of memories” given by a friend of mine. Wonderful words and thoughts were inside it, There are friends whom I’m very close with wishing be the best in life, there are those who knows me better than I’ve thought, there are also those who thinks that we are alike in many ways. =) Trust me, I couldn’t be more touched after reading those words with powerful emotions it carries along.

The 4 years isn’t exactly smooth, life’s always full of ups and downs. But hey, what’s life when everything just goes well?

Friendship is a big part of me. Too all my friends, Thanks for looking out for me all these while and Take care of yourself, you have my best wishes in everything you do. Most importantly, Keep in touch!

 

 

On another hand, I’ve been given the chance to plan my company’s coming annual dinner! =D Damn exited!

Till then, Cya bloggies around!~ =D

Sweet

Cute little sugar bears to decorate cakes~

 

Scored myself a lunch at PJ Hilton today with  the boss and the HR manager of Malaysian Airlines today!~ damn happy!~ =D

 

GREGORULE!

work works!

I’ve been working for 3 weeks already and I think I’m doing not baaad… not baadd at all!

Well, working five days from 9am to 6pm isn’t exactly exiting nor interesting, really… what can one actually do with the time left when you’re all worn out and tired after a long day cracking your brain to satisfy your clients and trouble shooting for other people?

As stated, working as a management trainee basically means I’ll have to do almost everything and learn as much I can as possible and I’d say, I’m really trying hard to learn because what I’m doing now has totally nothing to do with what I’ve been studying all these years! *facepalm*

Besides all those, I have to learn so many things that I’m starting to think that my job requires some accounting skills, computer hardware skills, multitasking skills, communication skills, analytical skills and alot alot alot of computer and database management skills. *faints*

Life hasn’t been bad to me since I’ve started working, as the job is not bad and I can usually have 15 min more lunch breaks. *shh* I’ve managed to pay my convocation bill on friday and yeesshh!!! I’m graduating soon!!! (officially I mean) =D

Anyways! my first payday is coming soon! can wait, really! *hops around in joy* but almost half of them would be gone to the convocation bill and a new suit for convocation! luckily I only need less than RM100 for patrol a month since I’m working so near the place I’m living! =D that’s a plus ain’t it?

alas! I think I’d better stop here… till we meet again bloggie!

I iz working!

I’ve started working on Thursday last week, and gosh… Loads to learn if you ask me…my brain’s usually too saturated after working hours due to the excessive load of information that I have to remember… but hey! That’s what starting a fresh new job is all about ehh?!

luckily for me, I still have the weekends off!

I'’ve managed to went to watch “Knight and days” at tropicana city mall on Saturday and did some shopping to stock up some junks for leisure time out. Some cereals and oats for my breakfast since I’m so malas to go out for a breakie…

Anywayz… lets keep my fingers crossed and hope that I’ll be able to learn as much as possible! ^^ I’m optimistic! =D

starting a new life

It’s been about a month ever since I’ve came back from Perth and still, I’ve not finish updating posts about the trip. I’m a very bad blogger I know…

In my defence, I was busy hunting for a job. Yes, and I’ve finally got a job with a decent pay. or at least I think and hope it is… hmm… let’s hope things work out for the best… =)

Work starts on the 1st of July and I’ll be moving up to KL on the 28th June and hopefully things will turn out fine.

I’ve done some major shopping today for formal clothes and a new pair of leather shoes. what else will I be needing? Gees, I’m spending like nobody’s business before I even start working ehh? That’s bad… really bad…

Starting to work means there’s alot of things I’ll have to worry about already ehh? And all of it would revolve around money! Seriously, paying my PTPTN loan, petrol, food, Insurance… woah! those adds up to alot you know! *faints* At least I wouldn’t have to worry about traffic jam when travelling to and from work! =D

But still, it’s time to take up some responsibilities and let my mum pamper me for another 1 or 2 months ehh?

Let’s welcome the new life of mine! =D

I’m optimistic!

too many things

As the title have said, there are too many things happening around me and my brain is always thinking about stuffs and I couldn’t even think of what to blog now… =(

at least I have this to blog…

King’s Park, Perth

Welcome to King’s Park!~ As you can see in this picture, Behind this leng zai (your’s truly), is the Perth city!~ =D

It’s really windy over there and cold. REAL COLD!

with the the uncles and cousins!~

if you’re wondering what I’m wondering at that time, I was wondering if the girl's blind.

a family picture on the bridge~

2 little ducks in the small pond.

 

We’ve also went to Western Australia University for a look after that before heading home~

Barbeque at Perth

On the third day, we visited the waterfront~ a very very nice place if you’d ask me~

and had BBQ dinner at home~

It’s rather enjoying to do barbeque over there because of the weather and you don’t even sweat standing in front of the stove to cook!~ it really makes cooking a pleasure~

the food about to be cooked!~

the chefs of the night~~ =D

so enticing!~

and it’s served!~

my plate~ (we still have some veggies, no worries… not a hundred percent meat… jz 90 percent!~ XD)

I so freaking miss the barbeque now! T_______T

Perth!~ day 2

 

We went to the wholesale market on the second day to buy some fresh salmon, mussel, smoked salmon, lamb, beef, Portobello mushrooms, celeriac, and some veggies~

after that, we head home and prepare Breakfast~

cooking the Bacon and mushrooms in the BBQ grill

a very hearty breakfast of bacon, eggs, mushroom, baked beans and bread!~

Then, we went to Fremantle~ a place to visit when you’re in Perth!~

It was a rainy day =( but it’s not going to stop us from having fun!~ =D

We’ve also went to the Maritime Museum and took a group picture together~

Fish and chips for lunch!~ and it’s so damn awesome!~

The portion was huge and this was supposed to be for four persons!

My new found love~ Ginger beer~ and my sis enjoying the chips~

We headed home after that since we’re all quite tired, and soon, we’re ready to prepare for dinner~

We’ve got

Mussel and

Salmon for dinner~

and some Portuguese egg tart for dessert!~

That end’s my second day in Perth~

 

P/S: I went for a job interview as a medical lab technician, and the only offer RM1500! Seriously, how can one live in KL with RM1500 a month!?

Perth!

Our family trip this year is to Western Australia, PERTH!~

Upon arrival at 5:30am local time, we went straight to my aunt’s place, for breakfast and a walk along the river behind her house!~

After that, we went to James street at Northbridge for dim sum as brunch~

It was raining for a while since we arrived, but we still managed to get about since showers are on and off.

we went to Oriental Inn for our dim sum~

some of the must try over there are the Siew Mai, fish cake coated with almond flakes, beef balls and the fried squid!

and the good is great! but not according to my aunt tho… she says it’s usually better… hmm…

After branch, we went to visit the art gallery and the State library of Western Australia~

at the steps leading to the State Library

We went to the shops for a while after that and back home for some rest since the flight is really tiring and we were out since then~

 

We went to another Chinese restaurant for dinner around 7pm

lobster, tooth fish, hot plate tofu beef in Szechuan style, are amongst the many dish my aunt ordered~ and the food tastes quite different than the ones we can get back home!~ ^^

These are some of the dished that tasted really awesome!~

 

We went home after that since there’s not much night life in Perth and we were all tired after a long day~

Ohh, did I mention jogging in the cool weather is good! I did not sweat at all! The only thing is when you’re breathing too hard and filling the cold wind in you lungs. That’s not really fun tho…

I’m back!

 

Greetings!~ I know you all missed me!~ but more pictures to come! be sure to come back for more…

I’m currently still busy processing the photos I’ve taken and I’ve bloody lost my sim card in Perth! Shall get a replacement today… =)

I am so missing the weather there now… =(

Then again, I”M BACK PEEPS!

sweetness!

I’m officially one night’s sleep away from flying to Perth!~ YEAH!!! I’m a kinda exited since it’s going to be my first time flying so far away from home, and it’s for a holiday!

here are some of the things planned out for us to do my my aunt!~ =D

Day trip – can only fit in a max of 3

Swan Valley – restaurant, vineyard, chocolate factory, cheese factory

Yanchep National Park – native animals, cave, picnic

Pinnacles – 3 hours from Perth

Wave rock – 4 hours from Perth

Visits

Harbour Town - Shopping

Fremantle

East Perth

Kings Park

Perth Mint, Museum, Art Gallery

City

Persimmon Farm

 

Breakfast

Bacon and Eggs

Smoke Salmon and Scramble Eggs

 

Cooked Dinner at home

Roast Beef/ lamb

BBQ – steaks, sausages

Mussels and Salmon

Soup, Chilli Con Carne

 

Eat Out

Dim Sum

Chinese restaurant – Lobster noodle, Toothfish

Fish and Chips

Pizza – with babi (pork)

MacDonald’s – with babi (pork)

 

oh me goodness! I’m loving the trip already!

I managed to dig out a pair of gloves from my closet! HAHA I’ll bring it since aunt says it’s very cold over there, you’ll never know when you’ll really need it ehh? Just in case… :p

don’t miss me as I’ll be missing from the internet for about 8 days!~ unless I go online there~ ^^

Till then! Chiaoz!

Home

Ahh!~ I went back to KL with the father today to ferry all my belongings back to Melaka and we were rather fast I’d say. The traffic along the North South Expressway was rather clear! =D

Now that everything’s back here in my room, I’d have to spend tomorrow unpacking my stuffs, clearing the old ones to make room for the new ones. Gees, looking for a sacrifice is hard if you’d ask me, I love all my belongings so much that it akinda hurt for me to toss them into the rubbish bag! But then again, sacrifices has to be done I suppose?

Speaking on packing, it’s also time for me to start packing for my trip to Pearthie!~ I heard it’s really really cold over there! guess I’ll have to pack extra! The internet says it may go down to 9 degree! hmm… let’s put my fatty tissues into good use shall we?

Ahh!~ it’s bed time anywayz… I shall just stop here!~ nitez peeps!

Insignificant

I was in KL for 4 solid years and I can quite firmly tell you that I’ve somehow got used to the life I’m having here. I also felt uncertain for what will happen when I moved back to the place I grew up. Will I get a reverse culture shock when I get home? Well. I can really know until I move back right?

Let’s focus on now, given the time spent here, I’ve made impression of many sorts to different people I’ve met. But at the end of the day, the moment I got on the bus back to Malacca, I became nobody. None will know about me, none will know that I’m not here anymore, perhaps none will even know that I was here.

We fight for our fragile existence everyday. When we leave, it's like we were never here, making us somewhat - insignificant.

However, I’d also like to immortalize some beautiful memories I’ve had in these 4 years while pursuing my tertiary education in UTAR. The best thing that has happened to me is to get to know that TE4z gang. Our foundation years are blessed with joy and laughter where we constantly help each other out. I wonder if you can still remember us correcting everybody’s math assignment in front of the lecturer? The best part, the lecturer praised us for our cooperation! XD

  The Christmas party we planned years ago, one of our greatest project! Even some of the lecturers were invited!

Then, We moved to Setapak to continue our degree course and somehow break into smaller groups, but still we remained intact. We definitely made new friends of ours despite our strong bonds.

*taken when we went to Genting*

 

with the fellow housemates~

 

and the fellow BT gang!~

 

and the BT TE4 subset. XD

 

and the BT G2 gang!~

 

I hereby thank every single person who’s entered my life and I just wanted you all to know that my life wouldn’t be as splendid if you all weren’t in it!~

pause

I was granted a short pause from study off this excruciating long exam period and I’m rather glad about it. It actually gives me time to breath and hit the pause button for a moment. I’ve have had my fair share of rest time on Wednesday since I’ve went out right after my paper for a K-ing session with one of my friend. Yup, it’s only the 2 of us. and hell we sang our hearts out!

After that, we decided that Sushi Zanmai would be a good stress reliever and thus to Zanmai we went! What can I say, Zanmai is currently the top Japanese restaurant of my choice! The food’s good and well, it’s not really cheap. But the food’s good! so what?!

We made our way to Pavilion after dinner for some jalan-jalan and found ourselves sitting at MOF for desserts! I’m rather glad that my friend loved the place very much and she’s saying that I should’ve brought her there sooner, why only do this when we are about to graduate?! She has a point you know, since we both have super sweet tooth! =D

 

Those actiaons above have landed me onto a state which I’d have to start my maggie diet again since the total expenditure for that one day bout cost about RM70! *goodness heavens*

Anyway, Went out with a close friend last night to old town for a chatting session and we ended up at our apartment’s poolside chatting until 4:30am in in the morning! I wonder when can I do that again. I’l miss those late night chatting session, the frequent outings and especially all the friends I’ve got here to keep me company. Graduation.

missing

Yes, I know I have been missing. in my defence, I have to be missing which I am not totally missing if you follow me on facebook and twitter…

the exam starts tomorrow and I’m like half ready? nah… not really half… but still it’s not 100% ready. Maybe I am ready but I don’t know if I’m ready or not… or… nah… just ignore me… something’s not right with me tonight…

anywayz, since we’ll be parting soon, my housemates and I, we took a few last pictures together about a week ago and I’ll share some with you all here~

yup, all 7 of us here~ ^^

the members of the house!~

 

anywayz, I’m currently a super fan of Glee!~ I don’t know if you’ve watched the series, but again, I tall you it’s so nais can die!

there’s a glee flash mob dance on the 8th May, will you all be joining?

 

That’s all from me for now!~

adios!

Sushi Zanmai at Low Yat Plaza

It’s my birthday (ok, a rather belated one)!~ and it is also a tradition got the gang of four (GoF) go have a good meal at each of our birthdays and my birthday is no exception. The date however has to be altered since we are all busy with test and presentations during the period and we finally met up on Monday at Sushi Zanmai at Low Yat Plaza for dinner~ ^^ (Their treat)

the very yummy unagi sushi~

Unagi don~

and unagi pancake!~ XD

who actually dislikes unagi? we loved it!!

well, we definitely ordered some other dishes which are not unagi related. =)

soft shell crab roll~

the famous grilled calamari~

and a parfait for dessert~

sharing food is always fun aint it?

well, what’s an outing without camwhoring?!

we are trying to create some scandals between this 2 already available persons… XD (hope we don’t get time into any trouble)

 

and a final picture before we leave~

 

Thanks alot guys, I’ve had a great time and a superb chatting session with you all!~