Saturday, January 16, 2016

Trying - positivity

Sometimes, pleasing someone takes a toll on you.

We do it because we think it's worth it, and I still think it's worth it.

Maybe we were both tired today.

On a side note, we went for a safety driving course today and tried a few stunts drifting the cars safely... which was pretty awesome! =D At lease we had a great time there together. =)

Let's make more memories of us! =)

Thursday, October 29, 2015


Tim pulled me in to have a chat with me today and brought up a lie that he told me. Simply because it's time to let me know.

I shouldn't be surprised; because that lie made no sense to me from the beginning as there's no recollection of what he told me happened during the crash.

I understand that it was told to soften the blow, and to help me get back on my feet from my traumatized state.

Now that he has come clean about the lie.

What am I feeling? How should I feel?

The incident has started to re-play.

Suddenly, it's like 26th June all over again...

Thursday, October 22, 2015


I feel so much less weird after watching this.

Monday, October 19, 2015

Why it had to happen

I was told
"One day, you'll look back. You'll know exactly why it had to happen."

I thought I will remember every single detail of the accident.
I thought I will be traumatized

I was traumatized, for about a week,
and then I just started driving again.
Not because I'm not scared, or I'm brave, but...
because I had to.
public transport in Malaysia is such a pain in the ass.
I had to!

I can't remember every single detail of the accident.
I can't remember the speed I was at.
I can't remember the moments before the accident.
I can only recall fragments of what happened before the crash.
The car skidded, spun, and overturn.
and the next thing I know, I'm strapped into my seat, upside down.
and blood came purging out of Tim's mouth.

Why us?
of all the cars travelling, I'm still wondering.
Why us?
and, why it had to happen?

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

The Carousel

"The carousel never stops turning, and you can't get off" - Ellis Grey

It was a Friday afternoon. The day we are supposed to go home and have dinner with our family.
It was a Friday afternoon. and things gone bad.

26th June 2015, Friday . An accident happened.

Circumstances changed, fate changed.

Post event updates:
- I'm totally fine, suffered from minor cuts and bruises
- My manager wasn't. Underwent oral and maxillofacial surgery. He's recovering well but we are still hoping for him to get back his eyesight.
- My 15 years old waja has served me well, saved our lives, and retired in the junk yard.
- Motor insurance issued a total loss payout, and I've gotten a new car on 7th Sept. 2015
- Lost my phone and glasses in the accident as well. Replaced.

All tangible losses have been recovered. What's left are the emotions that I still have to go through everyday.

"The carousel never stops turning, and you can't get off"