night time, bedtime

When you’re little,

night time are scary because there are monsters hiding right under the bed.

But when you get older,

the monsters are different - loneliness and regret.

Although we’re older and wiser,

We still find yourselves scared of the dark.

 

Sleep - it’s the easiest thing to do.

You just, close your eyes.

 

For so many of us, however;

Sleep seems out of our grasp.

 

We want it,

but we don’t know how to get it.

 

Once we faced our demons and fears,

and turn to each other for help.

Night time isn’t so scary,

Because we are all alone in the dark.

Feeling

I have a feeling.

I feel pain,

I feel emotional,

I feel like walking under the rain.

 

All these negative feelings are all I have.

When will the darkness go?

When will the dawn break?

 

At least I know,

I still have got something to lose.

of scars and wounds

People have scars at all sorts of unexpected places.

Like a secret roadmaps of their personal histories,

diagrams of all their old wounds.

 

Most our old wound heals, leaving nothing behind but a scar;

but some of them don’t.

There are some wounds that we carry with us everywhere,

and even though the cut’s long gone, the pain still lingers.

 

What’s worse?

New wounds which are still horribly painful?

or, Old wounds which should’ve healed years ago but never did?

 

Maybe our old wounds teach us something,

they remind us where we’ve been,

and what we’ve overcome.

They teach us the lessons of what to avoid in the future.

 

That’s what we think.

but it’s not the way it is, is it?

because there are still somethings we have to learn;

over and over and over again.

tell me sweet little lies

Sceptic, that’s what we trained to be as we grow.

 

Lying is bad, or so we’re told.

since the day we are born, and constantly.

“honesty is the best policy”

“the truth shall set you free”

“I chopped down the cherry tree” – so what?

 

The fact is, lying is a necessity.

we lie to ourselves because the truth friggin’ hurts!

Weather we like it or not.

 

but here’s the truth about the truth;

it hurts.

So, we lie.

Of Alcohol and Hangovers

Alcohol, the beverage we turn to when we need to drown our thoughts.

 

Little did we know, it actually helps us to think much better after a few glass.

Everything seems clearer than ever.

Every thought so vivid, lucid to the point where your senses are so alive even though you are dead tired.

 

The intense thought that flows through our brain,

Swift as a sunbird

Soon gets intoxicated by the fluid intake

Taking us into a whole new level of ecstasy.

 

The lack of self control soon gets us into deep shit.

When we are drowning with our petty thoughts.

Asking ourselves questions that we dare not ask ourselves.

Weirdly enough, we answer them honestly, truthfully.

 

When it comes to the point where your body couldn't take it anymore

We puke.

Along with all the pain and lies we told ourselves.

 

If you'd think that's the end?

You're wrong.

 

It is the next day which you will have to worry about.

The hangover.

The sober.

The time when you came back into reality and having to face it all over again.

the game

The arena, where you find your competition.

How well you play it, is up to you.

 

I can’t think of a reason why I should play.

but I can think of a thousand reasons why I should quit.

The game is made hard on purpose.

 

There comes a moment when everything is more than just a game,

and you either take a step forward or turn and walk away.

 

I could quit, but here’s the thing.

I love the playing field.

GLEEK!

YES I AM!

Love the series, loved the movie!

Just hope that there’s a concert… A REAL one!

the tempo, my tempo.

Tempo, a musical terminology referring to the pace or speed of a given piece. It possesses the ability to affect the mood and difficulty of a piece, rendering it a crucial element of a musical composition. (Wiki, 2001)

Adagio, marks the start of my work life. Things were rather slow since I’m new to the industry. Same questions were being asked repeatedly. Constantly making the same mistakes. It felt as if time stopped. But, I’m very thankful for my colleague who helped me out gladly. Making sure I did my work right, the scripts being executed properly, or the reports I did being presentable. I’m very thankful. =)

As I started to get hold of my work, more and more tasks are being given to me. Andante sets in and begin it’s role of spicing up my work life. having more responsibilities, more tasks, more to learn, and more late nights. All these has made me slightly disconnected with my Uni friends since most of my energy is being focused at work.

Soon enough, Allegretto takes it’s position as I’m being put in charge in the execution of 2 huge clients. Taking them pass the transition cycle, providing input and information. Things were not easy as the tasks were challenging and many late nights were being pulled off to get things to go smoothly. But, all is well.

1st July 2011, the piece were played to the Vivacissimo tempo. A promotion is in place, and a new seat awaits as I’m being transferred into a new department. where more challenging tasks awaits.

1 year, 1 new role, persevere and to do my best. Nothing is impossible!

 

The composition continues and the days pass, This piece is just the mark of a starting point, a piece to remember where I begun, and I hope there’s a nice ending to it.

Dream High!

Dream High - OST

This is the song currently set to repeat itself on my playlist in iTunes. Love it! =D

Like the song says, Dream high.

After a year of working in the company, my boss finally decided it’s time for me to move to another department. Overseeing 2 of the most challenging and high volume accounts of the company:

Malaysia Airlines System (MAS): headcount of about 60,000 employees

and Foreign Workers: 600,000 registered members and increasing.

Being transferred into a new department means more opportunities are opened for me, more things for me to learn, more things for me to do, with the possibility of more late nights and more stress, not knowing if I’m getting a promotion or a good increment.

It’s a challenge I’m willing to take up and I’m more than interested to take this opportunity to prove myself to be a suitable candidate in the managerial position.

Thus, I give myself 2 months to learn up all the processes of the new department and the policies set.

All that being said, the long term plan that have always been so clear to me seems blurry all of a sudden. I am starting to have doubts of what my priorities are. What are my long term and short term goals? What I want out of life? Where I want to be?

I am going to need time to think everything through carefully again. I need to give myself a time frame to get my goals right and my priorities straight.

 

and most important of all, I need a vacation!

 

I need to DREAM HIGH!

Clean

“Clean”, the word that people generally used to describe hygiene.

Surgeons have to scrub before performing a surgery so that there are clean…

We shower to clean ourselves…

We sweep, we wipe, and we wash to clean…

-Hygiene-

 

To clean up your own mess, is your responsibility.

To clean up someone’s mess, is a pain.

you are not required to, but you did.

Because when you clean up someone’s mess;

it shows that you care.

 

“Clean”, also the word that implies “fresh”.

A clean slate - everyone wants it.

But, how many people actually gets it?

A clean slate – is all that I wished for.

That not everyone is willing to give.

-A fresh start-

 

“Clean” – The word that is generally used to describe hygiene,

is being used today,  a rally.

Which bares the meaning “fair”.

so that we can have a fair election.

 

But there’s one thing I’ve learned since I was a young boy.

Nothing, is fair.

Nothing, is clean.

我不敢

到了今天，还是有这个问题。

想要，却不敢。

想做，也不敢。

想的，就不敢。

 

到最后，我要的，都没有。

应为，我不敢。

 

我不是没胆，我怕的是别人的意见。

daddy’s day

So, I’m back to Melaka for the weekend to celebrate father’s day with the dad since I can’t make it at the end of the month.*work again*

alas! so many things to plan for now I can’t lose sight of any.

potential for total change of target goals for all my short and long term plans…

but then again, I hope it’s a good change… nothing in carved on stone yet…

 

note: I’m just updating to keep this blog from dying.

relaxing Sunday

after a whole week of mad rush, I really love my Sunday to be relaxing, lazy in a way, but relaxing. A day which I don’t have to think about work, a day which I don’t have to rush like a crazy person to meet a dateline. It’s good to have a break like this every once in a week. It probably helps bring down the blood pressure too… just saying.

After working for 10 months in KL, I’ve finally hit a car (with my car) which is due to the other driver’s carelessness, partly mine too perhaps.  But it’s ok since the person agreed to pay for the damages. I would consider this a small problem since my car just suffer from a minor damage and that I’m still in one piece. =) Fret not, everything’s under control.

Side track, Medix Indonesia’s sending a few people for training starting tomorrow, which means, I’m gonna be hell as busy as ever juggling my tasks and training the people from Indon. it’s a challenge that I believe I can take up. =) Things are akinda getting routinuous for me anywayz. This just came in time to spice up my work life a little.

Speaking of spicing up work life, there’s this particular guy who seems to be born to make my work life difficult. Hmmm… Wonders what I did to him in my past life??? but den again, life would be boring without them i suppose? XD

Aite, that’s all for now. =) Shall relax till the max before (what I foresee) 2 very eventful weeks starts tomorrow~

MIA

Hello bloggies, It has indeed been a while. More than just a while actually until some of my friends actually called me to ask me if I’m ok because I’ve not been blogging for quite sometime.

As the title implies, I have been missing in action of the blogging world, but not at all in the actual world. You would have notice that I actually stopped blogging as frequently once I’ve started working as compared to while I was studying. So, yea. I'm focusing on my career now that I’m in the workforce.

For those who doesn’t know what I’m doing, I’m working in the IT department of a claims managing company as a Management Trainee current;y learning up data control (Yes, I’m a BioTech Grad, I know). The job is by far challenging and I loved it quite alot as there are so much to learn.

Sometimes, I miss my Uni days… =(

why get mad over the things you can’t control?

Well, as many of you know that I’m quite a saddist, I’ve made someone cry… again… well, technically speaking, not for real tho. sorry to disappoint you folks.

there was this guy, who doesn’t like being called dark or teased that he dark at finally got it from me. There’s this one fine day that I teased about being dark by comparing him with me and he decided to stop talking to me and having lunch with me.

And I can recall him saying this to me: “It is not my choice for me to be born dark!”

Well, there’s nothing much I can do can I? besides apologizing, that is.

My point of this post is to tell you people about what I’ve learn long time ago that, knowing you can’t change something that is already done, learn to live with it!

I’ve quite fair, and many people actually teased me about it. Like way many people have teased me about being fair. I used to hate it, trust me, but look at me now? I’m still fair and no one can talk about it in front of me will hurt me.

I’m born white, that I couldn’t change. What I can change is my reaction towards what people have to say about it, and that I have to be proud of who I am, for who I will be and for what I’ve done. That’s it!

Why get so upset about the things you know you couldn’t change anymore?

Pointless.

 

BTW, Ya, I teased him, but with only 5% of what I usually do to a girl friend of mine who’s dark as well. Until today, we can still tease each other like there’s no tomorrow. You’re a guy for goodness sake. suck it up!